Random Thoughts 11/4/13

First let me get some negative crap out of the way. I don’t even care if you read this part , I just need to write it down. Details on this are intentionally absent, sometimes I share too much and this is one of those times. I have been known to adjust my psych meds up our down as needed, something I know better but I still do it. I was out walking the dog the other morning about 4 am. Oh yea I got a dog more to follow on that in a post all of its own. I ran into a couple of drunk kids in their late 20’s. This has happened before and I have been able to talk my way out of the problem. This time they grabbed me then kicked my dog. Then it happened I snapped and my dark side came out. I put the larger one on the ground and the one who kicked my dog I used to much force because I was pissed off and he ended up in the hospital with several broken ribs. Normally I would have felt bad about this but this time I didn’t. I got away with the whole thing because they didn’t know me. It did however have ramifications. I got an ass chewing from my pill pusher, Physical therapist and a weekly appointment with my hardcore therapist.
That same day I was over at the office where I live, still in a pissy mood and got into an argument with the manager about the apartment I live in now. I wore her down so much she agreed to let me move to another place without waiting the normal six months so I could get my dish back up and my 4G to work all day long. The only positive think to come out of this.
******Please don’t comment on this part ******

Quickly moving on.

I now have my 4G back up until about 9 am then I lose it. The wifi at the clubhouse is down now so on days like yesterday when I had a chance to catch up I had to go to MacDonald’s and use my damm phone again. So once again I apologize for my lack of comments on your post it takes forever to do on my phone. Plus after my 2 day absence I had about 60 post to address.

I am pretty excited about this week. I have my orientation at the Humane Society tomorrow. Then on Wednesday I have a 4 hour animal handling course, followed on Thursday with a 8 hour dog handling course because of the areas I picked to volunteer in. Somewhere mixed in all of that I have meeting with a counselor to see what area I fit in and they need the most help. Normally they don’t want you to volunteer more than 4 hours a day. I want to do 8 hours a day three times a week. I just wont do more than 3 days a week or it will become a job. So I guess its up to them how much they need or want my help.

I started staying up an hour later than two hours to get myself more on a schedule with the normal world. The result was I now sleep a good five hours or more at night,something I haven’t done in years. It has made a world of difference in how I feel and even think.

With all I have going on, much more than I want to share on this post, my time on here may be reduced even further. I struggle now to post twice a week and keep up. I can no longer make the promise I will always keep up with all of your post. Someone told me in a comment the other day that the real world kept getting in Her way, that seems to be my case for now. I just don’t know only time will tell.

I forgot a couple of things. The gremlins at WordPress are back at me again. I am loosing friends I didn’t mean to. I have finally switched to using the reader when on my computer. It doesn’t work well on my phone because It always goes back to the first post when I exit one. I still have the emails coming so I can use them on the phone.


Change Is In The Air

My life is undergoing a lot of major changes now, all of them positive some long overdue. I used to be able to say I have more time on my hands than money. Now a lot of free time is something I don’t have.

Last week I started Physical Therapy backup for my back. I am now using the decompression machine again. This device just straps in your lower and upper body and gently pulls on them reliving the compression on my affected disk. I had four treatments last week and have already quit using my muscle relaxants and pain pills. I am not drowsy all the time anymore and have quickly reverted back to my normal four hours of sleep a night with only one nap during the day to give me a total of six hours a day that’s all I need. This week I start going in twice a day five days a week. The first session they have me practicing on a portable version of this device that they ordered for me to use at home. The second session is even more advanced exercises to strengthen my back and core muscles. This should last about a month before they turn me loose.

My home program will then go from two 30 minute sessions to three one hour sessions seven days a week. I have to commit myself to this because if I don’t and continue to put this off I could mess around and end up with a rod in my back that holds the four disk in place. I wouldn’t even be able to bend over if that happened.

This whole dish mess I had going on may have been a good thing looking back. Yea it cost me some money but I was already recording a bunch of shows and wasting five or six hours a day watching them. Now with my antenna hooked back up I can still watch most of the football games I want plus two or three hours in the evening watching some shows I really enjoy. I still hate watching live TV but down the road I can pick up a DVR for 100 bucks and record the shows to watch the next day.

I also need to finish my apartment set up and prep and paint the old seventies ugly wooden kitchen cupboards white. I like the look and made a deal with the devil or the property manager to let me paint these, they even provide the paint. It is a water based paint which is a pain to cover wood with but with time I can do it.

I have given a lot of thought lately on two main things. The first is if I want to take on the responsibility of owning a dog again or not. This is a serious commitment for me and I am still working on that, There are positive and negative aspects to this I need to dwell on. The other is, I wont be able to go back to work part-time until next spring when my back should be strong enough. I have decided in the mean time to give some time back into the community by volunteering about 20 hours a week. There are many worthwhile ways to do this, I am just about convinced to do it at the Humane Society. I have always had a love for dogs and have gotten all of my past pets from there. I find the whole idea of buying dogs from breeders that all to frequently use puppy mills for their dogs, a bit repulsive when there are so many surplus already at the Humane Society that will be put to sleep if someone doesn’t take them.

I could go on but in short I need to break this prognostication cycle I have been stuck in. This time I have been talking about, for the next couple of months has to come from this site. I will only post twice a week, once the wordless Wednesday which is a very easy post until I run out of good old photos, then if time permits post once during the weekend. Even with all of this going on I still think I can keep up with all of my friends, I may not be able to comment as much as I like only time will tell. I will not post if I am not caught up or close to being caught up.

Now I am off for my morning cappuccino before I catch up with everyone.


Time to Unload the Old Brain Part 1

I read a post a couple of days ago from some one I follow titled we’re all mad here by melissa nacinovich she had several rants and raves along with some very good stuff. It got me to thinking the reason I started this blog was to get things off my chest. Its like once I write them down it opens up a few brain cells for some more stuff to come in. I realized I wasn’t being true to my self. I was trying to copy the style of different people mix pictures with words write better and the list goes on. I still will but expect to see more of these rants in the future. I guess I could best describe my blog direction now like a combination pizza.

Like most of these I have no idea where this is headed, I guess we will find out.
A couple of days ago started like any other normal day for me, after my first breakfast I headed out the door for my morning 3 mile walk. I had gone a few steps and a bird decided to unload his breakfast right on top of my head. For some reason this has happened many times in my life but that day I should have took it for a sign of things to come.
I had my monthly appointment with Physical Therapy that morning and showed up early as always. We were talking about something and the topic of the steps leading up to my second floor apartment came up. She proceeded to start to read me the riot act about renting a place with steps because of my back problem. Now most Doctor stuff I let go in one ear and come out the other. When it comes to my back I pay very close attention because there is no cure the only thing that will make the pain better is to not use it or a lot of exercisers to strengthen my back muscles. I do both depending on how I feel. She then said she had warned me about this before I had moved. I jumped up from the table and call her a big ass liar with a whole lot of obscenities mixed in I was so upset. I told her to look in her notes and sure enough I was right and she was wrong. She then suggest I move to a down stairs apartment. I went off on her again and asked her if she had the 2 grand it would cost me to break my lease, have the place painted and hire the movers. She then suggested I get a note from my regular Doctor about the steps, this seemed reasonable to me so I started to get up when I felt a tap on my shoulder, out of learned reflex I jumped up turned around and was prepared to face my enemy. I faced a Wichita city cop.                   Apparently one of my out burst had caused her collages to call security. The VA doesn’t used rent a cops for security they use the real ones.
So off we went to His office, I have been there before for my out burst so I wasn’t to concerned. They put you in one of their holding cells for 30 minutes like a kid in time out to make sure you are ready to play nice then they let you go.
I then started my 2 hour quest going from Doctor to different departments only to find out the only way the VA was going to give me a note about the steps was if I applied for a permanent profile that has to go before a panel of 5 Orthopedic Surgeons and would take up to 2 years to complete at which time I could apply for SS disability. I told them nicely this time, to forget it I didn’t want their disability just a frigging note. One last thing about the VA as a patient you cant sue the Doctors for malpractice or anything just like the military Doctors, but outside agencies can that is why they are so hesitant about putting their names on any thing that goes out of the system.
This will have to be part one my brain is tired and it is getting to long.