Random Thoughts No Rants Today

This is my favorite type of post to do. I use my word processor then transfer it to the Word press site. That way I can leave my computer and come back to it as another though pops into mind. It normally takes me about 3 hours to do a simple post like this that may only contain 3 to 5 paragraphs. I never know what is going to pop into my head but this morning I feel pretty good and am at peace and pretty much centered within myself so no rants should rear their ugly head.

I have put a lot of time and effort into my meditation the last couple of weeks. I’ve had to adapt from the traditional lotus position because of my back issues and am now using my recliner to meditate in. In some ways this is like starting all over again because if if I am not careful I will fall asleep when doing this in the recliner, but it also forces me to concentrate even harder to get to my place. When I am successful it is a feeling like all is right with the world and my place in it. I am calm,peaceful,centered and my yen and yang are balanced.

I took a trip to the flint hills north of here the other day for two reasons one was to get familiar with my camera again and the other one was to use the pictures to write a couple of post about. This trip was a disaster from the start. The weatherman had it backwards it was cloudy most of the day the few times the sun came out I was shooting right into it. This Flint Hills drive is listed as one of the scenic drives in Kansas. The most picturesque part of the drive was a 40 mile section of actual hills with old limestone fences and huge limestone mansions built over a hundred years ago. The only problem was there was no shoulder at all to pull over and take pictures. I ended up driving on to a town called Osage it was once part of the Oregon trail. I took a bunch of pictures of the tourist type of landmarks and such. I had tried to shoot in a medium format to make my shots smaller for the web. I started to weed through the 300 plus shots I took last night and am not impressed with medium format. On my High Def screen they just don’t look as crisp and clear as a full frame shot. I will sort through the rest of them and hopefully I can find enough to make a post or two about.

A month or so back I posted about my procrastination. I had a list of three or four things I had put off. I completed them all expect the hanging of the pictures of my Daughter and Grand Daughters. I put about half of them up in the hallway and the other half are still in a pile in the living room. I put them in the hallway so I would walk by them every day but have the opportunity to ignore them if I wanted which I usually do. They live in California and I haven’t seen them for a year and a half. It may be a long time before I get the chance again. I can’t fly out there because I am on the no fly list, long story for another day. I used to take the train out there because it was like an adventure to travel 36 hours on a train. I had to spring the extra money for a sleeping car but it was well worth it. I leave here at like 3 in the morning so I end up sleeping 2 full nights on the train. Now I return to the back problems, I cant even sleep in my own bed much less that thing they call a bed on the train. I have to sleep in a recliner at home to support my back. My Daughter works two full time jobs to make ends meet because one of Her baby Daddy’s refuses to give her a cent. He works off the books for cash so she cant go after Him for any money. So they wont be coming back here anytime soon.

I have very few fears in life. My greatest one is that I will never get to see the three people that I care about the most in this world again.

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19 thoughts on “Random Thoughts No Rants Today

  1. melissa nacinovich

    I’ve found it best to always shoot at full resolution and then scale them down with the photo software later. Still, post them. I’d love to see what you shot : )
    I have to hear the no fly story…
    That sucks about your daughter, California is not the place to live if you’re not wealthy. She probably has it twice as hard as single mothers in other states. Everything is more expensive out there!

    • I am going back to the full large format, lesson learned 😊 I will tell you about the no fly when I get back home on my computer takes to long on this phone

    • Sorry missed the second half of your comment. I have visited California several times and got sticker shock every time. But she is stuck out there because that’s where both her kids were born and their dads live.

  2. I hope you can get the opportunity to make it west to see your daughter and grandbabies soon. I thought about hopping a train ride out here but I don’t think I could last that long on the rails. looking forward to seeing your photos. and the no fly list story has my curiosity peaked!

    • Thanks Sherryl,
      Ok for all those that have to know. I don’t mind. About 6 years ago I tried to fly from Wichita to California.Now I have jumped out of way to many planes and repelled down a helicopter over 100 times in the Army. I have a Panic Disorder and one of the symptoms that developed was claustrophobia. I got stuck way in the back of the plane in the last row by the window setting next to this huge man. I was already over medicated to get through the flight. The plane backed on to the tarmac,my palms got sweaty, I got dizzy and the next thing I new I had jumped up cursing to let me off of this plane now. It stopped they took me inside on an ambulance,where I sat for about 30 minutes. Then they told me to come back in a couple of days to get my baggage they didn’t want to delay the flight anymore by looking for it. I thought this was the end of it. I came back and was escorted into the federal office in the back, met with a bunch of guys with federal badges and was told I was on the no fly list because I scared the other passengers and disrupted the flight.They told me they would take me off if I could get two or three shrinks to swear this would never going to happen again.I told my shrink at the time and she laughed at me. Nobody but a fool would sign something like that including me.I laugh about it know but at the time it wasn’t very funny. I should have wrote a post about this..LOL

  3. I’m glad you have been able to put more time into your meditation. I think it is important to have meditation as a regular practice. I certainly find that it makes life more bearable.
    I hope you figure out a way to see your girls soon. All the best to all of you.

  4. Wow. A lot of information to digest in this post. 🙂 Waiting eagerly to hear the “no fly list” story.I feel your back pain – I was in a serious car accident in ’98 – off work for 5 years. As for your family – I believe we will always find ways to make things happen, sometimes they wait for us in the most unexpected of places. Hang in there 🙂

    • Thanks for you comment, back pain can be very troublesome at times as you well know. I haven’t given up on seeing my family, just a little down yesterday but today is a new day

  5. dear xbox2121,
    I am here to read YOU…(did not want to be accused of being a “slacker” again!)…LOL. Back pain is the worst! almost…not being able to see your daughter and grandchildren…even more painful. So sorry! and then NO FLY on top of it! You have opened your heart and soul…I am send your crystals of healing through the universe! (No–I am NOT on drugs! Never have been! and from what I have been reading about medicine, I am beginning to wonder IF anyone really knows what they are doing! I take Plavix and was taking Omperazole (for acid reflux) at the same time–only to have read at my own inclination to do so—that the Omperazole cancels out the effect of the Plavix (heart medication)! I have been taking both for over 5 years! and every 6 months seeing a doctor, who goes over my medication list! So much for that!
    Sorry…got off on a tangent…and this is YOUR blog! I hope that your daughter finds a way to get that lazy bugger off his butt and help raise the child! and that you find a way to visit her! Blessings on your week and hang those pictures!

    • You are never going to let me live down that post about my followers are you..LOL That,s OK I have it coming. I have caught my Doctor making a similar mistake with my Blood Pressure medicine. That lazy bugger is working just off the books and for cash so He gets by OK but its His Daughter that pays the price. He only wants to see here a couple of days a month. About those pictures, I now have another reason not to hang them. I have decided to move again in Jan when my lease is up here. Don’t know where but about a year or two at the most is all I can take, then I get bored and fell the need to move again.

  6. Wow, that is a loaded post! We learn more about you that way, though. I’m so sorry you are not able to see your daughter and granddaughters more, and that’s such a long way to travel. Maybe one day they’ll include recliners on trains — in the meantime we’ll have to brainstorm and come up with some way for you to go out there or get them over to where you are. It can be done, it just has to be figured out how. Sounds like you have the meditation going really well! I only do light meditation and, like you, I fall asleep if I get too comfortable. Sounds like you’re doing a great job of it! I hope your week is starting out really well, Bob!

    • Recliners on a train would work for me..I even offered to pay for their flights out here and back at least she is thinking about that. Problem is getting just a few days off from two jobs at once can be difficult. Even light meditation will help greatly if used every day.I did it for a few years before I went to full mediation.The secret to both is to force yourself to set aside time every day to do it. I was able to drop the dosage on several of my medications this way.

  7. That’s certainly something to consider — taking less medication is certainly worth trying to be more disciplined

  8. I hope your back pain gets better, meditations is the best! If you check some of the local small airports that are around you, there are personal pilots that own planes and some of them fly people for the same cost you’d pay an airline. I don’t believe the ‘No Fly’ list applies to them. It’s worth checking into.

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